Let me pitch you my new movie, Gosling.
Ryan Gosling plays himself in a genre-bending documentary, where we soon find a startling trend of hatred towards geese. The way they look, they way they act, the way they think; he loathes every fiber of them. For reasons beyond his control, he wakes up only to find he has become five literal goslings and must survive the harsh social hierarchy of geese and what it truly means to be a goose (much less five)! After plenty of hijinks at his high school reunion, where he wins the basketball season, he comes to terms with being goslings and never changes back. The movie industry falls without his human form, but Ryan Gosling becomes an unlikely martyr for the geese. He can’t really do much about it because he is still five goslings. We now live in a goose-centric reality, that is, only until Ryan Goslings reach the end of their natural life-cycle, at which point he is reborn in new geese who now have the power of water, earth, blatant disregard for others, fire, and air. Only the five true goslings, masters of all geese, can bring our planet back into the intellectual balance of societies who put geese in their place, the way Ryan Gosling always knew should be.
I’ll be waiting for your funding.
I don’t have a good grasp on time these days, but what felt like a few months ago this post showed up in my tumblr feed. It was a text post at a moderate length, vague in its purpose, propositioning me for a shipping address. NICE TRY, PERSON ON THE INTERNET. The post was up for maybe an hour? It came from findthestarlight, who I never remembered following.
What a peculiar sight it must have been. I remember being so perplexed, but compelled to oblige. I did a compulsory google search to get a rough idea of what the hell this was all about. There were very few results, but most prominent among them was luckyshirt’s twitter page, wherein his website listing was findthestarlight’s without reason. That was enough for me. I guess that doesn’t make a strong argument for my logic and reasoning; what is it this guy got himself into, and why should I care when it’s not his usual jokes about burritos, cats, or Jesus’s birthday? I still don’t have an answer for that, but at least now I have a little more to show for it.
I recall he was going to ditch the luckyshirt moniker, but I’m really glad he didn’t. I find it all more interesting in the context that these things that I find worth my time are coming from a dad who’s making things worth his time instead of teaching kids what gifs are (because that’s what he gets paid to do).
So now findthestarlight has started to find its place, albeit cryptically, as an uncompromising story told through the veil of mystery. Short stories, enigmatic clues, and delivered plot devices have all gone into telling a story in a fascinating way. There’s a kickstarter, which is interesting in its own right. If luckyshirt (and I know you’re reading this) spontaneously imploded I would be pretty sad, and now findthestarlight is one of the multiple reasons why.
I am inexplicably drawn to this, and I think you should be too.
Let’s do one final contest.
See, this is the final week of my request for help. And everything waits on the results.
The support I have already received has changed things. Now everything waits for the end of this week, as what is left of this chapter and the path to The Orange Key will depend entirely on what happens there this week.
For those just joining us, go here to read the main scenes of this story so far, and here to learn more about how this story is being told.
If such things capture your attention, please follow there.
To put things simply: we need a large net. And we need that het to have as few holes as possible.
So I am asking for your help this one last time before finishing what we have begun.
If you have any interest in this story, and if your ways allow for such things, I would be very grateful if you would repeat this link wherever you can:
I ask you do that for the sake of this story alone.
For those who do so here by reposting this post, I will select four names at random to receive an Alchemy Starter Set at the close of these last six days on Sunday, February 10th at 4:22 pm EST.
For those of you who post the link to twitter with the #findthestarlight tag, two will be selected on the same date to receive an Alchemy Starter Set.
Thank you all so very much for your help, for your patience, for your kind words and encouragement, and for your attention.
The best of luck to us all.
To whom it may concern.
Jimmy Ruffalo’s estate as it stands beyond his tenure in adventure.
• 16,410.7000148 XP - to be kept on Ruffalo’s person, delighting his appreciation for mad stats.
• 9 Iron Rations - to be donated to a local orphanage, unless they’ve gone bad, at which point Ruffalo will feed them to some ducks or something.
• 3 Small Sacks and 2 Large Sacks - to be used to help maintain order in the Dungeon Safety Vault, unless a more critical use is demanded of them.
• 2 Waterskins - to be kept on Ruffalo’s person, so as not to get parched.
• 5 Bandages - to be given to the Dungeon Safety Squad party loot, may you live long enough to use them.
• 7 Torches - to be given to David, or the next closest approximation, to accompany his candle collection.
• 5 Iron Spikes - to be donated to the city of Wildertown, because they kind of need anything they can get.
• 50’ Rope - to be kept secured inside the Dungeon Safety Squad Headquarters to develop the elusive, mythical rope armor.
• Holy Symbol (glowing) - to be kept on Ruffalo’s person, AT ALL TIMES.
• Bedroll - to be cleaned and kept in the Dungeon Safety Squad Headquarters until such a time that it is better served elsewhere.
• Silver Mirror - to be kept in the Dungeon Safety Squad bathroom.
• Winter Clothes - to be kept on Ruffalo’s person, as winter is coming.
• Goblin Horn - to be kept in the Dungeon Safety Squad Headquarters as an emblem of trust, friendship, equality, justice, and HONOR!
•Dolley - to be kept at Dungeon Safety Squad until it hears its greater calling.
• Footman’s Mace and Sling with Stones (18)- to be kept on Ruffalo’s person, protecting his ideals with an iron fist.
ITEMS OF A MORE RARE NATURE
• Mo-DSSAHG Schematics - to be kept in the Dungeon Safety Vault.
•The Jet’s MTARSVmIISchematics- to be kept in the Dungeon Safety Vault.
•Coffee Maker Schematics- to be kept in the Dungeon Safety Vault.
• Dungeon Safety Field Manual- to be copied, with the original being kept in the Dungeon Safety Vault and the copy being framed and hung in the Headquarters, then read by any new inductee to the DSS.
• Microphone - to be used to slay Ruffalo’s foes on the stage.
•Metal Numbers (“2” and “8”) - to be donated to the city of Wildertown to start a numbering scheme for the addresses of properties therein, lobbying to get Dungeon Safety Squad Headquarters as address “1”.
•Crab Flag- to be displayed in the Dungeon Safety Squad Headquarters so as to NEVER FORGIVE, NEVER FORGET.
•Wand of Accounting- I believe this has already been dispersed among the squad, as it should.
•Detect Evil Scroll- to be sold to Melcarr, whom Ruffalo will become good friends with as they laugh and reminisce over good times had in adventures past.
•Plate Mail Armor- to be kept in the Dungeon Safety Headquarters until a member of DSS so needs it, but such a character must have adventured with the party for at least four consecutive weeks.
• Glowing Plate Helmet(with torch loop)- to be kept on Ruffalo’s person, illuminating the world of Thor’s light.
PARTY LOOT (if not already properly dispersed)
• Ruby Necklace - vault
• 100 Gold - vault
• 3,000 Silver - vault
• 10,000 Copper - vault
• 4 Gems (200 gold value) - vault
•Mithril Hinges (6) - vault
• 19 Platinum
Approximately 34% of which will be donated to my church, 33% of which will be kept in the Dungeon Safety Vault for party use when deemed appropriate, 33% of which will be kept on Ruffalo’s person (or in the vault strictly for his use if he maintains stay at the Headquarters).
ITEMS OF EXTRAORDINARY SIGNIFICANCE
• Oden’s Tears (1) - to be kept in the vault until such a time that it is of the utmost importance to use. I cannot emphasize enough: UTMOST IMPORTANCE.
•Ancient Dwarven “Cuz” Shield- to be left to the most senior members of Dungeon Safety Squad, and kept in Headquarters during periods of inactivity.
•The Harbinger- to be kept in the Dungeon Safety Vault until the active Squad encounters a foe worthy of its presence. This hammer must not be disgraced by falling into the wrong hands; use with extreme caution. It is preferred that the most righteous of the group use this when the time comes, unanimous decision necessary, no religious preference so long as they are honorable.
SPELLS AND SERVICES
• to be used for the good of the peoples.
• work with the city of Wildertown to get clearance to expand the Dungeon Safety Squad Headquarters property. We can relocate the Hall of Heroes to here so the travelers and adventurers may pay their respects, as many of its inhabitants have become staples of the local ecosystem.
• talk to distributors to get the Dungeon Safety Squad TCG out across Commondran, further developing DSS brand value.
• design a DSS tabard.
• in spare time build The Jet’s MTARSVmII.
• work with the community to help cultivate a thriving economy and reinvigorate the adventuring culture that once existed here. In celebrating the way of life that made Wildertown a viable outlying city to begin with, Ruffalo will teach the people Yub Nub.
There are a great many things I do not believe in, but one truth I hold a lot of stock in, is that everything changes. I’ve come to accept this through years of resisting that very unfaltering reality. Although recently I actually embraced a change and it’s catalyzing a great many things, one of which is where I invest my productivity. For better or worse, I can find productivity in nothing and everything; this is one such product of investing in nothing just before my great entropic voyage sets sail.
A storm is brewing.
Clouds shadow the horizon. The storm abates its distempered breath; the sound of a great wind echoes through the air. It grows nearer with promise of catalyzing change.
Hushed murmurs turn boisterous gales. The town drowns in an all consuming squall. Moisture congeals the air down the street, in your house, in your lungs.
Is that ringing in our ears, or is it the muffled maelstrom stirring above? Suspension is what grounded was. Strange how a time of frenzy can inspire such lost thoughts.
From the abysmal bellows awakens a town in disarray. An unseen soot varnishes every surface gallant enough to leave itself exposed. The movement amidst the wreckage dislodges pockets of a time that once existed, but now seem so foreign.
Pulsating flashes populate the horizon with crackling debris. We stumble in its wake. Hindsight reminds us why it isn’t worth nestling in a glass house of cards. Dusk refracts through the shattered hearts. Now what is left? —capacity— Only through destruction has there ever been so much potential, and within its ashes will arise something great.
A love letter to Adam Sessler and an obituary to a show of my childhood.
Today it was announced that G4 would be canceling their staple shows Attack of the Show and X-Play. If you’ll indulge me, I would like to talk briefly about what that means to me.
AotS was tasked with replacing the much beloved Screen Savers, but as a kid I never really cared for either. In fact, I never really liked much of the TechTV lineup while it was around, but this may be because I was only 10 years old. I did however like X-Play, now this was before it was called that, mind you. I think this was mid-Extended Play, so that puts me at maybe 4th grade.
I very distinctly remember Adam LARPing in some wooded area and thinking, “This is great.” It was probably one of those gilded childhood memories, but that show informed me of sensibilities. There was always a whimsical endearment coursing through the show, and with Adam being the constant through its many years he always embodied that for me (although Morgan has always been a lovely addition).
Then I started growing up and the show grew up with me. I remember having the musical and Breakfast Club episodes on my iPod, repeating them ad nauseum. Those were game changers for me. I remember the sheer disappointment when I found that the song that closed the Breakfast Club episode was a production song made specifically for the episode (because I wanted more of it). This is probably the earliest example I have of me watching something not explicitly for the content, but to spend time with people I’ve grown so attached to (a trend now defining much of the content I consume).
Then I kind of fell off the X-Play bandwagon. It existed in its trajectory and me in mine. I subscribed the the X-Play podcast for a little while but even that tapered off pretty quickly. Then this strange thing happened, a few years down the line I stumbled across Sessler’s Soapbox and Feedback. It was this surreal experience of seeing this guy I had known for nearly half my lifetime through now more wizened eyes. I could appreciate his obscure literature references (I didn’t get them, but it made me happy to hear them), his hair had thinned out, and god damn did he have charisma. All of the silliness that I grew up with was now having intelligent discussions (occasionally), and I can’t italicize enough how incredibly happy seeing these people made me.
Then Adam left G4, and now G4 is leaving X-Play. Some part of me feels an echo of sadness, but it’s a different show now. I’ve had my time with it, and whatever is ending isn’t mine anymore. Whatever the spirit is that lived in what I loved, is out there doing other things. It could be in me, IT COULD BE IN US ALL!
I think I have a copy of the first episode of X-Play on an external lying around here somewhere, maybe I’ll give it a watch through, or maybe I’ll just sit and reminisce on happy memories.
The topic of discussion for tonight is: ideas (especially good ones).
I’m sure this won’t be an unfamiliar description for some, and most experience it, but I’ve never quite heard it properly articulated.
Some days I run across a stray thought, something that puts a stopper to all semblance of continuity. All great ideas stem from conversation, either internally or externally, and I guess the most appropriate analogue would be to describe conversations in terms of a storm.
So you conversation begins, it doesn’t particularly matter how or why. Every word is a loose particle of water caught adrift in the sky. As the conversation builds these particles collide and mix, they start forming clouds. First they’re unnoticeable, wisps of cloud, but they soon become an imposing landscape. Some conversations wither and dissipate, serving no other purpose than to ease the endurance of a harsh climate under a cruel sun. Others become fierce and fruitful. The fruitful ones are worth noting, producing rain and snow, thoughts worth remembering on their own merit. But that’s not what I’m interested in talking about; I want to talk about lightning.
These words become sentences become paragraphs become monologues and soliloquies. All of these elements brush against each other and start forming electrical buildup. It may be unexpected, it may be after much anticipation, but it is always sudden and rarely in control. In ideal circumstances the electricity has both the motivation and the means to strike. It branches off, skewering the sky as it makes its way to contact. The first of many of the idea’s limbs reach the ground, at which point it takes the path of least resistance. It strikes with devastating power.
This caliber of thought is now something in need of being written down, not just remembered. There’s some deep eternal call for preservation in that kind of quality. This is the closest approximation to the experience of me realizing I’ve thought of an idea I’m proud of. If you’ve ever been in a conversation with me during one of these experience, the signs are obvious. I will stop talking, mid-sentence in some instances; I will stop thinking, and I have a telling smile lost in the vacancy left by the idea. All of that space used to charge the idea is now a vacuum, and I’m left only to explore the shape and intensity of the lingering bolt. A barbed pillar of light cast upon grey skies meeting grey land.
The moment passes. We then reach dénouement. The storm dies down and returns to being a talking point amongst neighbors in their driveways. Predictable lives are lived below, and the skies make room for new storms.
The people who can harness the lightning will one day control what kind of clouds make them.